Don’t Leave Money On The Table


You control your bank account. You decide how rich you are.

Your wealth is the emotional account trapped inside you. You’ve got one, whether you acknowledge it or not. It’s the 401k your company provides — even if you didn’t sign up for it, it’s there, and your subconscious provides matching funds, which could be accruing as we speak, if you bother to add your 6% a day.

Don’t leave money on the table. Your emotional vault is the only resource you have, and if it’s bankrupt, or if you don’t know the access codes, or if you hate it and resent its existence and think it’s dumb, or if your Dad didn’t know his code, you lose capital. Right now. Because emotional capital accrues, like money in the bank. It builds on itself, it grows interest. The more you have, the more you get. It magnetizes, it draws energy, it gains power, it acquires strength.

And it translates into real-world capital. Because the more emotional capital you acquire, the more you use it. When you know your emotional account is flush, you act with certainty and confidence. That certainty allows you to relax and conduct your business intuitively, guided by the freedom a tremendous fortune affords.

How do you build emotional wealth?

Here’s what I do:

1. Write down anything you remember from your dreams when you first wake up. Often you won’t remember anything. But the more you do it, the more you remember. It’s not about interpreting — it’s about stretching open that connection to whatever’s in your head — keeping the line open. Even a few words will do. If you really can’t remember anything, try writing “what did I dream?” with your dominant hand, then writing whatever words come up with your non-dominant hand. You don’t believe that you don’t know your own mind, but whenever I’ve done this, my hand writes stuff that makes sense and that I didn’t know was there.

When you go back and read your dreams, you get a real portrait of where you’re at emotionally. Just now, I flipped through my journal. Everything sounded a lot more lucid than it felt at the time. The process of translating the abstract into language might crystallize meaning — we filter for the pieces that make sense to us. What stops you up in this is knowing you’re not describing the dream exactly right — but that’s what stops us up in writing. Better to get anything down on paper than to wait until we’re getting it down perfectly. Practicing this every morning keeps our blocks open: it’s like injecting Heparin in the IV tubes of the mind. Just get anything down, because these are pieces pointing to where you were that day. And as it turns out, the pieces add up to a very evocative whole.

2. Take a walk every day. There’s something about walking that stirs up the unconscious and clears access to your emotions. It’s like space clearing for the mind, and it literally readjusts your spine. Probably better to go alone, at least a few days a week, so you’re forced to confront yourself. You can try walking meditation, which Natalie Goldberg describes in Writing Down The Bones. Or you can listen to music or audiobooks. Or think about your story. Or think about nothing at all. Observe stuff, zone out. Be with yourself.

3. Meditate. Meditation was on my to-do list for a long time but I never got around to because I thought I was too busy. Meditation will change your life. I’m not fancy about it — sometimes I do it lying down. Sometimes sitting. Sometimes while walking. Usually it’s 15 minutes. I have a meditation timer on my iPhone, and I try to write down what I think about on the first bell and on the second bell — another way to track what’s going on inside me. Because this is the most valuable thing I have. My goal is to be still. Do nothing. Sometimes that means repeating a mantra that occurs to me in the moment — that’s how “Be More You” came to me. I was feeling anxious that day about staffing, and that’s what bubbled up from my subconscious: Be More You. Sometimes my thoughts run, and it’s a cacophony of all the junk of my daily life that I can’t seem to stop. And that’s okay — because being kind to yourself means allowing whatever is. Abandoning resistance. So if your mind needs to race and get all worked up, let it. Sit there with it quietly, because maybe all it needs is to be heard. And then eventually, if given enough time and enough hearing, it will run out of things to say, and then it will just be you and your mind, observing silence.

4. Write a couple of lines in a journal before you fall asleep at night. This is hard for me. But I do it because it’s good for me. If I really don’t want to do it, I’ll make myself write one sentence or one word. Again, this is about keeping that connection open and keeping a record of the flags that show up on the page. Very often you’ll be surprised by what shows up there, and it’s only when you’re forced to articulate on paper what’s in your head that you see what’s really going on inside you. What’s the point of owning a fortune if you don’t know the access codes? This is where you learn the access codes. Slowly, with practice.

5. Go there and stay there. You know that thing you don’t want to think about? The thought that provokes anxiety — that’s it, you just thought of it, then you pushed it back out of your mind. You know what it is. It makes you a little sick to your stomach. It creates a hot, burning sensation in your chest. You do not want to think about it, ever. You certainly don’t want to talk about it. You choke up a little when you try to talk about it. Go there and stay there. The ability to find those feelings and stay there, without running away is what makes us storytellers. When you feel vulnerable — humiliated — powerless — alone — do not resist. Do not puff out your chest and make yourself look bigger. Make yourself smaller. Look for chances to knock yourself down a peg or two. Your dangerous place is not the bottom: it’s the top. Stories are not told from up high. They’re told from below. Do not resist humiliation — embrace it. The more you dismantle your ego, the more you will access your own emotions, and the more your audience will access you.

Do not leave your matching funds on the table. They’re available right now, and if you let today pass without seizing and investing these funds, you’ll have nothing to draw on when it’s time to produce. Investing here, every day, is how storytellers get rich, quick.

31 thoughts on “Don’t Leave Money On The Table

  1. I am only writing to make you be aware of of the really good discovery my princess found browsing your site. She learned so many things, with the inclusion of what it’s like to have an incredible teaching spirit to let other individuals just grasp various extremely tough matters. You truly did more than people’s desires. Thank you for rendering the beneficial, trusted, informative and as well as easy thoughts on this topic to Tanya.

  2. I really wanted to develop a small message so as to express gratitude to you for some of the pleasant strategies you are writing at this website. My time consuming internet lookup has finally been paid with awesome ideas to talk about with my neighbours. I would point out that many of us readers actually are truly lucky to exist in a fabulous site with so many special people with interesting tips. I feel truly blessed to have used your entire web page and look forward to tons of more fun times reading here. Thanks once more for all the details.

  3. I and my buddies have been checking out the good guides found on your web page and so the sudden developed a terrible feeling I had not thanked the site owner for those strategies. Most of the young men became for this reason joyful to read them and now have clearly been taking advantage of them. Many thanks for getting well accommodating and also for figuring out certain helpful tips most people are really wanting to understand about. My personal honest regret for not saying thanks to sooner.

  4. I and my pals have already been checking out the good tips and hints on your site and then all of a sudden I got a horrible feeling I never expressed respect to the web site owner for those strategies. Those people were definitely totally passionate to read through them and now have certainly been enjoying those things. Thank you for turning out to be considerably considerate and also for making a decision on these kinds of beneficial information millions of individuals are really eager to learn about. My very own sincere regret for not expressing appreciation to you earlier.

  5. I as well as my friends have been checking the best pointers found on the blog then then came up with a terrible feeling I had not expressed respect to you for them. All the young men appeared to be certainly passionate to see all of them and already have certainly been loving them. Thank you for indeed being very thoughtful and also for getting some great topics millions of individuals are really needing to understand about. My honest apologies for not expressing gratitude to earlier.

  6. Thanks so much for providing individuals with such a brilliant opportunity to read articles and blog posts from this web site. It really is so excellent and packed with a great time for me and my office co-workers to visit your website nearly 3 times weekly to read through the latest secrets you will have. And definitely, I’m actually amazed considering the terrific points served by you. Selected 1 areas in this article are without a doubt the very best I have had.

  7. I am writing to let you be aware of what a really good experience my princess enjoyed reading through your web page. She mastered so many details, most notably what it is like to have a great coaching spirit to make other people easily completely grasp some multifaceted matters. You actually surpassed my expectations. Many thanks for providing such priceless, healthy, informative and in addition easy guidance on that topic to Tanya.

  8. I was more than happy to seek out this net-site.I wanted to thanks for your time for this excellent read!! I undoubtedly having fun with each little bit of it and I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you blog post.

  9. I would like to get across my passion for your kindness in support of individuals that require help on your theme. Your special commitment to getting the solution all around turned out to be particularly insightful and has really empowered others like me to realize their desired goals. Your insightful publication can mean much a person like me and much more to my office workers. Regards; from everyone of us.

  10. I as well as my friends happened to be viewing the excellent strategies from the website and so instantly got a horrible suspicion I never expressed respect to the website owner for those techniques. My young men came certainly very interested to read all of them and have now simply been loving these things. Appreciation for being very accommodating and then for making a choice on varieties of perfect issues millions of individuals are really eager to be aware of. My sincere regret for not expressing gratitude to sooner.

  11. My husband and i ended up being really cheerful that Chris managed to round up his investigations through your ideas he obtained from your very own web page. It’s not at all simplistic to simply always be releasing guides which usually many others might have been making money from. We really figure out we have the writer to give thanks to because of that. The most important explanations you have made, the easy website navigation, the relationships your site help to create – it is everything overwhelming, and it is assisting our son and our family feel that that article is cool, and that is unbelievably important. Thank you for the whole thing!

  12. Needed to compose you the little bit of remark just to thank you again on the breathtaking tactics you have featured in this article. It is generous of people like you in giving extensively precisely what many people would have marketed as an e book to get some cash on their own, most notably seeing that you might well have done it if you ever decided. The basics also worked to become a fantastic way to be aware that other people have the same passion similar to my own to learn very much more regarding this problem. I believe there are some more pleasant periods up front for individuals that look into your blog.

  13. I must show some thanks to this writer for rescuing me from this particular crisis. Right after surfing around through the world wide web and finding opinions which were not beneficial, I assumed my life was well over. Existing without the strategies to the difficulties you’ve fixed by way of the write-up is a critical case, and those which may have in a negative way affected my entire career if I hadn’t noticed your blog. Your good knowledge and kindness in playing with all the details was very useful. I am not sure what I would have done if I had not encountered such a thing like this. I’m able to now look ahead to my future. Thanks very much for this impressive and amazing help. I won’t be reluctant to suggest your web site to any individual who needs and wants guidance about this matter.

  14. I’m often to blogging and i really appreciate your content. The article has really peaks my interest. I am going to bookmark your site and preserve checking for brand new information.

  15. I simply wished to say thanks once more. I do not know the things that I would’ve created without the type of basics documented by you over such a field. It previously was the hard concern in my position, nevertheless coming across a skilled approach you solved it forced me to jump for gladness. I’m just thankful for your help and thus wish you realize what a powerful job you are doing educating the mediocre ones via your web site. I am certain you haven’t met any of us.

  16. I simply desired to appreciate you again. I do not know what I might have undertaken in the absence of these thoughts revealed by you over my problem. Certainly was an absolute scary scenario in my opinion, but taking note of your specialized way you managed it took me to jump for fulfillment. I’m just happy for this help as well as expect you comprehend what a powerful job you were accomplishing training others via your web site. More than likely you’ve never met all of us.

  17. I must voice my passion for your kind-heartedness giving support to individuals that require guidance on your subject. Your personal commitment to passing the solution all through has been amazingly informative and have in most cases encouraged ladies just like me to attain their pursuits. Your entire important help and advice signifies this much to me and even further to my office colleagues. Warm regards; from each one of us.

  18. I have to point out my gratitude for your generosity supporting individuals that require assistance with your topic. Your personal commitment to getting the solution around came to be really interesting and have usually encouraged ladies just like me to attain their pursuits. Your own helpful hints and tips denotes so much a person like me and somewhat more to my office workers. Warm regards; from each one of us.

  19. My husband and i felt cheerful when Louis managed to finish up his investigation using the precious recommendations he got out of the site. It’s not at all simplistic to just find yourself giving out ideas which often many others have been selling. And we all discover we have the writer to thank because of that. Those illustrations you made, the simple website navigation, the relationships your site help engender – it’s got most terrific, and it’s assisting our son in addition to our family do think the situation is excellent, which is certainly tremendously important. Thanks for all!

  20. I just wanted to post a remark so as to appreciate you for the stunning suggestions you are giving at this website. My time intensive internet lookup has at the end of the day been honored with brilliant strategies to go over with my close friends. I would express that we readers actually are unequivocally endowed to dwell in a decent community with so many awesome professionals with great points. I feel pretty privileged to have encountered your web site and look forward to some more entertaining times reading here. Thank you once more for all the details.

  21. Thanks a lot for providing individuals with remarkably memorable chance to discover important secrets from this website. It is often very pleasing and also packed with a good time for me personally and my office mates to search your web site not less than thrice in one week to see the newest secrets you have got. And lastly, I’m just usually contented considering the sensational tips you give. Selected 2 points on this page are indeed the most effective I have had.

  22. I wanted to send a small remark in order to thank you for those fantastic pointers you are sharing on this website. My long internet research has at the end been honored with useful suggestions to exchange with my partners. I would declare that many of us visitors actually are truly lucky to be in a remarkable site with very many marvellous individuals with insightful strategies. I feel pretty blessed to have come across the site and look forward to some more enjoyable times reading here. Thanks a lot once again for a lot of things.

  23. A lot of thanks for all of your hard work on this web page. Betty take interest in conducting research and it is obvious why. Many of us learn all relating to the powerful way you convey rewarding steps via this web blog and as well as foster participation from the others on the situation while my princess is always becoming educated a lot. Take pleasure in the rest of the new year. Your performing a stunning job.

  24. I have to convey my appreciation for your kind-heartedness in support of men and women that have the need for assistance with the matter. Your real commitment to passing the message all through has been incredibly insightful and have regularly helped guys and women much like me to attain their desired goals. Your new warm and helpful help can mean so much to me and further more to my office colleagues. Thanks a lot; from everyone of us.

  25. I actually wanted to post a message to say thanks to you for all the wonderful suggestions you are writing here. My time-consuming internet investigation has finally been compensated with awesome details to talk about with my visitors. I ‘d tell you that many of us visitors actually are quite blessed to dwell in a great network with many wonderful people with very beneficial solutions. I feel truly grateful to have encountered your web pages and look forward to some more cool minutes reading here. Thank you once again for a lot of things.

  26. I’m also writing to let you be aware of of the beneficial discovery my friend’s princess enjoyed reading yuor web blog. She came to find a lot of pieces, which included how it is like to have an ideal teaching style to get the rest without hassle comprehend some problematic matters. You undoubtedly did more than visitors’ expected results. Thanks for presenting these warm and helpful, safe, revealing as well as unique tips on your topic to Janet.

  27. I really wanted to post a quick message to express gratitude to you for all the nice pointers you are posting here. My incredibly long internet research has finally been recognized with high-quality knowledge to talk about with my close friends. I ‘d declare that most of us readers are rather fortunate to exist in a fabulous community with many marvellous professionals with good advice. I feel somewhat grateful to have come across your web pages and look forward to so many more fun moments reading here. Thanks once again for everything.

  28. Thanks on your marvelous posting! I definitely enjoyed
    reading it, you can be a great author.I will ensure that I bookmark your blog and may come back from now on. I want
    to encourage you to ultimately continue your great work, have a nice evening!

  29. Woah! I’m really enjoying the template/theme of this blog.
    It’s simple, yet effective. A lot of times it’s challenging to get
    that “perfect balance” between superb usability and visual appearance.
    I must say you have done a awesome job with this. Additionally,
    the blog loads very quick for me on Firefox. Superb

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.